Under No Condition
by MissSnowFox
Summary: A series of diary entries written by Arthur about all the of moments with Merlin that he doesn't know what to make of. Starts with an alternate ending to 2.06 where Merlin actually hugs Arthur.


Under No Condition

Dear Diary,

Under no condition did I _mean _for it to happen! Of course not! I was merely preparing to give the idiot a manly tap on the back (not that manly is a word one would associate with Merlin, but still). How was I supposed to know that the total fool would try and go for a hug?

The conversation has started out normal enough- it seemed that I was admitting doing wrong far too often for my liking, and I must make a mental note to stop doing that, especially to Merlin. It'll make his head swell far too big for his own good to know that he's in the right most of the time. *Although, saying that, perhaps his ears would look less out place with a larger head...*

We just stood in silence for what seemed to drag on to several minutes, but in reality, I doubt it was more than a couple of seconds. I was pondering what to do. I shouldn't really just walk off and leave him standing there without some sense of acknowledgement, but what was I supposed to do? Shake his hand? It's not like he was a visiting stranger that I had to great. He was my *friend* servant, whom I'd known for the best part of two years.

Finally, and feeling a bit stupid just standing there like a lemon, I extended my arm to pat him on the back- yes, that seemed like an adequate response to the conversation that had just passed between us.

But I wasn't prepared for a... good grief, a _hug_! Mind you, it _was _Merlin, and Merlin was a complete girl. I should have seen it coming.

The problem was, that I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts about how long the pat on the back should last, and whether I should say anything afterwards, that I didn't even notice Merlin's attempt to put his arms around me until they were... well... _around _me.

Once I was aware of the fact that I was being cuddled by my manservant in the middle of a corridor, I immediately had a million different things on my mind to say. Like, under no condition did I intend to go for a hug, and under no condition would I be hugged like a girl. Because I am a man- a very manly man for that matter!

But there was something in me... I couldn't put my finger on it at the time... perhaps it was some kind of instinct telling me not to pull away from Merlin's warm embrace. I could feel the idiot's breath warm against my shoulder as I felt him smile to himself. Of course he would, the girl!

And of course, under no condition did I enjoy a single second of the ridicule that this gave me, being smothered by my *friend* manservant. But he seemed to be enjoying it quite a lot, so I just decided that it would be kind of rude and a little mean to deprive him of some kind of satisfaction- he did, after all, save my life!

Although, under no condition did I shakily put my own arms around Merlin's back to give him my own *friendly* manly embrace.

I absolutely do not understand the appeal of this hugging business that girls seem to enjoy so much, and it certainly wasn't anything special with _Mer_lin!

I was certain, again, that I had overestimated time, and that the hug only lasted a mere seconds (because to cuddle up the Crowned Prince for any longer was just ridiculous) and soon, Merlin began to pull away *to my dissatisfaction* thank God!

The grin he had plastered all over his face when I looked at him was *precious* comical. But I didn't laugh at him, because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I shook myself a little, recovering from my humiliating moment of emasculation and began to walk away.

I could tell that Merlin was still smiling. Of course he was! And under no condition was I smiling along with him as I walked away, because that would mean that I enjoyed it, *which I didn't.*

Anyway, it's not like we actually _hugged _hugged. Not really, not like girls would do it. I don't think so, anyway. It was much more manly. Yes, definitely, nothing feminine or emotional about it at all. Our arms were quite rigid after all, *even though Merlin seemed to kind of melt into me...*

Under no condition was it more than an elongated manly slap on the back

*** these are the words that are meant to be crossed out, but FF wouldn't cooperate!**

* * *

**Firstly, don't panic, I absolutely haven't abandoned "May I Love You" but seeing as it's exam season, I haven't had much time to write a 3000 word chapter. I'm planning on finishing the new chapter this Friday/Saturday and so have it up by Sunday at the latest- sorry for the long wait! ****But just to show you guys that I haven't died, I thought I'd write this one shot which has been in my head for a long time! And my first one shot- yeeeey!**

**BTW those who follow me on YT will notice that I actually put this story on my wishlist, but then my muses got to work, and before you knew it, a plot bunny was eating at my brain! As Cynth would say "where the inspiration strikes..."**

**Anyway, what do you think of the Athur POV? Was it in character? I hope so, coz I've never written in the 1st person before, so I'm a bit nervous. **

**Till next time fans :)**


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